"Right" Your Life Story

"You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand." - Irene C. Kassorla

What is your life story?

A mystery, a fairy tale, a drama, a love story, fiction or fact? Most importantly...Is it holding you back?

I repeatedly hear "stories" from my clients (and others) about why they are like they are and why it has kept them stuck. They refer to all this as the "reasons" why they are like they are or why they haven't made changes. But basically, what they really are - are the excuses that they've become comfortable with so that they don't have to step out of their box and change.

So I ask you:

Do you often find yourself saying things like, "Oh that's just the way I am."  "That's how I was raised."  "My parents were this way, therefore, I'm..." 

Do you find yourself launching into a big "story" when something doesn't work out for you. A story filled with all the reasons why, inadvertently putting blame on this person or that situation from your past. If you are, then my friend, it is time to change your story!

Start with this - sit down and briefly write your life story. When you are finished, read it over and look for themes. Identify any significant occurrences (good or bad) that you believe might have had an influence on who you are today in a positive or negative way. Is there anything you left out? Anything you want to add? Title your story. THEN -  make the decision, right then and there, that the story of your past will no longer dictate the story that is yet to be written. The old story is history... the new story begins now. On a blank page, write the title of the next chapter. What do you want it to be? Who do you want to be? How will your story shift? You are the author, you have the power to write whatever you choose! And yes, it is okay to make a mistake, erase and start over.  Just remember, your past may have influenced who you are, but it does not have to control you or keep you from being who you want to become.

Here's to happy endings! Now write your new story...

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If you'd like to know more about how I can help you live the next chapter of your story, click HERE to contact me today. Or sign up to receive a free Transformational Change Starter Kit and check out my other blog posts at www.YourBestTrueYou.com  

Seven Essential Steps to Overcoming and Growing from Disappointment

Well, summer is officially here! My family is home for summer vacation and we are busy planting, swimming, playing, loving and working. In other words, we are enjoying life.


Although a couple of weeks ago, we had a different story. We received some news that something we were really hoping for was not going to happen. We were disappointed to say the least. We felt let down and defeated. It would have been easy for us to sink into a slump of despair and depression but unlike disappointments we had faced in the past, we chose to handle this disappointment differently. Instead of choosing to stay there; wallowing in our own self pity and asking why, we went through a process that I want to share with you today. We set into motion a series of steps that have pushed us past that disappointment and on to making the most of the life we have while we work towards the life we want.

It’s too easy to put life off. Thinking that you’ll be happy when you get out of debt, find true love, get the job of your dreams, make it big, etc., etc. But the reality is, if you don’t bloom where you’re planted right now, not only will you miss out on a world of happiness and joy, but you will not be living or welcoming the opportunities that will actually propel you to that future faster and with greater ease.

Something not working out like you’ve planned is not a failure, it’s an opportunity. An opportunity to learn, to grow, to see what is unfolding before you and to take the next risk. It’s a chance to live. And with that thought, here are the seven essential steps to overcoming and growing from disappointment. Take these steps the next time you are faced with disappointment and you’ll feel your life propel forward.

1. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Allow yourself to grieve, to cry, and to be angry. In short, allow yourself to feel. It’s okay and it’s actually a necessary part of the process. Pretending it doesn’t bother you would not be being true to yourself and would not be healthy. Yes grieving may seem like a harsh word, but in reality, even though your disappointment may not necessarily be the loss of a loved one, it is a loss. Maybe the loss of a dream, a hope for the future, a job, an opportunity, a friend, a love… whatever. Allow yourself to grieve the loss.

2. Ask for guidance. In other words, pray or meditate. Whether you call it God, Spirit, the Universe, whatever; ask for guidance from that higher source. If we ask to be shown the way, to be guided to what’s right and best for us, then trust that that is exactly what we will be given, then no matter what comes, we can rest assured that it is the right thing. Even if we don’t see it…it is.

3. Show gratitude. It may sound like the last thing you want to do at a time of loss or disappointment, but showing gratitude for the things you do have will not only take your focus off the things you don’t have, but will renew your spirit faster then any other action you can take. Not to mention, show the world that you’re ready for more to be grateful for.

4. Ask for help. (This is a hard step for me.) I don’t like to ask for help but I am learning that not asking for help doesn’t mean you’re strong and can handle it all. Actually, it takes a very strong person to ask for help. And to allow others into your life to help. So ask for help…its okay.

5. Refocus by letting go of the attachments to expectations or outcomes that you have created and allow yourself to set new intentions on what is to come.

6. Create a plan or goals – from those intentions you have set. Then identify the steps you need to take to make that plan come to pass.

7. Take action on those steps and get moving in a positive direction again. Life is a series of choices, and you can choose to focus on the door that has been closed in front of you or you can choose to look for the new door that has been opened and take action to walk through it.

We may not know the reason that what we wanted did not come to pass, but we can rest assured that if we trust that it is because something greater is coming our way and use the challenge as an opportunity, to learn what that is, then I’m certain that good will undoubtedly come our way. Time to Grow!

Want to know what I did today?

Today I did something that I haven’t done for years…and I mean YEARS! Bet you’ll never guess what it was.


Okay, give up? I took a bath in the middle of the afternoon. I lit candles, put on some spa music, threw some relaxing lavender oil in the tub and just soaked the day away. And I did it in the middle of the afternoon.

Now I don’t know about you, but it isn’t very often that I get to do something like that. But recently I had someone make the comment to me that if she had my big tub, she’d use it all the time. I replied to her that I rarely use it because I just don’t have time. Then I went into my rant about how by the time I get the kids bathed, work, cook, clean up, etc… who has time? And because I work from home, let me tell you, there are some days that I don’t even get a shower in, let alone a long soak in the tub. Then I realized, what a shame. I really am blessed with so much in my life. Even the little things like a big tub. Why ignore them? Why not take some time for myself? I talk to my clients about doing just that all the time. Be present in the moment and enjoy what I have.

So… this afternoon, I shut down the computer early, told my husband he was in charge and that I was going to take a bath. AND…not to expect me for a while, because I wasn’t coming out any time soon. To my joy, he of course said, “Okay!” And off I went. It was such a relaxing experience. Especially because I chose to completely let go. I didn’t sit in there thinking, “I should be doing this or that.” I just let go.

I’ve realized through the years that saying “I should” usually only leads to disappointment or an unsettled conflict in my heart. I took that bath because I wanted to. I took that bath because it was something that I could do for me. And that didn’t make me selfish. It made me better! Because when I got out, I was rejuvenated, relaxed and renewed. I was in balance with myself and in being so, I was more present and able to give to my family.

What is it that you haven’t done for yourself in years? What is it that you want to do but always find an excuse to not do? I want to challenge you today, as the shoe logo says, to ”Just do it!” Give yourself permission to love yourself. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Give yourself permission to let go and enjoy. And do it knowing that there are no “shoulds” involved. There is nothing selfish about taking care of yourself and that showing love and gentleness to yourself will have a ripple effect on those around you.

So, whatcha gonna do today? Share your thoughts. You might just give some of us a new idea. ;)

Picture the Lesson Learned

I recently went through my files and files of pictures.  I'm one of those people that waits forever to print them.  So when I do, I usually print 300 at a time.  As I was going through them I started thinking not only about the memories that they held, but also about the lessons that I could learn from my children.  Kids have such a pure innocence to them.  Their faith in us and the world around them is enough to make any adult's heart skip beats.  If we listen and observe, we can learn a lot of life lessons from our children. 

Remember that old poster you used to read in the doctor's office all the time? "All I ever needed to know I learned in Kindergarten."  It's not really about the Kindergarten class; it is because that time in our lives was before we let the world's views interfere with us and our faith or confidence.  You see, I'm a firm believer that we already have the answers to our internal questions, if we will just be still and trust in the answers that we give ourselves.  The problem is, we let our own fears and insecurities get in our way of receiving them. 


So, anyway, back to the pictures... today I want to leave you with a few pictures that symbolize some simple lessons that we all need reminded of periodically.

1. Kick it in gear... you can break any barrier that gets in your way.

2. Don't be afraid to take a leap of faith. That's the best way to get to where you want to be.

3. Stop and smell the roses and see the beauty all around you.

4. Laugh a lot, be silly and enjoy life, even the messy parts.



Now, I challenge you to go through your own pictures and find some that will provide important reminders to you. Post them up around your home and then be open to the daily lessons that present themselves to you.



If you have children of your own, take a step back and allow yourself to learn a lesson or two from them. You’ll be amazed at what you can see in the face of a small child, if you look hard enough. And, you'll be surprised at what you learn... I know I always am!


Blessings,
Michelle


PS - If you like this article and would like to read more like it, you can subscribe to my newsletter by going to http://www.lonetreecoach.com/ and clicking on the tree button at the top of the page.

One Flight Down – Norah Jones and Your Beliefs

I was originally attracted to this blog post because I really like Norah Jones' music, but after listening and reading the message, I thought it was worthy of sharing with all of you!

One Flight Down – Norah Jones and Your Beliefs

To Everything There Is a Season

I was in my car the other morning listening to the radio and just as I was about to get out, the song that was playing really caught my attention and I just had to write about it. It was “Turn, Turn, Turn” from the band, The Byrds. Yes, I know, the first thing you’re wondering is what station was I listening to… but let’s look past that, I know it’s an old song. You may or may not know the song but let me start by enlightening you with the lyrics. Take your time and really let the words sink in as you read them.

Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)
By The Byrds

To everything - turn, turn, turn

There is a season - turn, turn, turn

And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything - turn, turn, turn

There is a season - turn, turn, turn

And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down

A time to dance, a time to mourn

A time to cast away stones

A time to gather stones together

To everything - turn, turn, turn

There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven


A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing


To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven


A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time of peace, I swear it's not too late!

So as I sat there, I thought to myself, what season is it for me? Fall is here and the weather is beginning to change. But that’s not all that is changing. It really is time for a season of change in our world. Is it time for a season of change in your own life?


Is it a time to plant or reap for you? Is it a time to build up, to dance, to love, to gain? There truly is a time for every purpose under heaven. The question is; have you found your purpose? And are you ready to make a change to fulfill that purpose?


You can embrace it or you can resist it, but change is inevitable in our lives. Use this fall’s changing season as an opportunity for you to create positive changes in your life. There is a season for everything…let this be your season.

Take Rest - A field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. ~ Ovid

As autumn is approaching it is a time to remember that all good things need rest and regeneration. The earth must do this in order to have a bountiful crop the next year. If it never rested, then eventually it would wear out. Does that sound like you? Pushing to the limit and never resting then wondering why you are not productive. Maybe taking some time to regenerate would prove to be fruitful for you.

I haven’t always viewed the fall season in such a forward focused way. I actually spent most of my life with a much different perspective. I always hated that I was born in the fall. The leaves were falling off the trees, grass was dying and the earth seemed to be shedding its beauty. Then my perspective began to change. I started to see the fall as a perfect time to let go of the things I had been carrying with me. I could slough off what was weighing me down and look for rest in order to regenerate a new beginning. It is amazing how when you take time for yourself, you can find more time and energy to be productive in other areas of your life.

Often when we struggle with disappointments in life, we come to a point that in order to move on, we have to let go. We have to let the old thoughts or disappointments go in order to generate a new future for ourselves.

So whether you’re thinking you need to change old habits and start fresh or let go of life’s disappointments, don’t wait for a new year to resolve to change. I challenge you to use this autumn season to lose the old habits and start anew, to let go of old hurts and disappointments and create a new future for yourself. Get rid of what’s causing your inner “plant” to die and get prepared for a new season of hopes to come. Take rest and be ready to be even more bountiful then you might have imagined!